Adi Bachar-Reske
SCC Consultant
Hello, and good to meet you.
We don’t often talk about the messy details of divorce like we do other big life events, so let me share a little about mine to give you a sense of who I am. It was 2020, right in the middle of the pandemic, when my marriage of 17 years ended. One day I had a husband, a home, and a seemingly steady life. The next, I was facing a reality I never saw coming.
We had two teenage daughters, a life we had built together—and suddenly, I was navigating a completely new world I never planned for. The reason? My husband came out as gay. It wasn’t something I ever expected, and it shook the foundation of everything I thought I knew.
There were no fights, no betrayals—just the stark realization that the person I had spent nearly two decades with was living a truth that didn’t include me in the way I had imagined. It was heartbreaking, not just for me, but for our family.
I grieved the life I thought we had, the future I believed we were building, and the idea of a love that I thought would last forever. But there was no time to fall apart—I had two teenage daughters who needed me to be strong, even when I felt anything but. How do you support your kids when you’re barely holding it together yourself? Do they need therapy? How much do we tell them? Do we pretend everything is fine, or do we acknowledge the heartbreak?
Every decision felt impossible.
And then there were the logistics—do we hire expensive lawyers and drag this out, or can we just sit at the kitchen table, yell at each other, and figure it out for free? In the end, we hired a marriage consultant to help us separate better. It sort of helped. Navigating co-parenting was its own challenge.
- Could we still do birthdays together?
- Holidays?
- Should we tell our friends?
- Could they even understand?
- What would dating look like after this?
- What kind of partner would I even want?
- And then, the biggest question of all—can I ever do this again?
For a long time, I didn’t have answers. Five years later, I still don’t have all the answers, but I do have peace. I’m stronger and happier than I ever imagined I could be, with a partner in my life that my kids love. We do all the holidays together—mom, dad, boyfriends, all in one house.
I’ll always be sad about what I lost. I don’t think you ever truly move on from that sadness. But I’ve grown so much, and I absolutely love this second chapter.
I’m looking forward to helping you navigate yours.
